debt debs

Personal Debt Wrangler – Had my money head in the sand – but no more!

Couples-Money-Conversations-You-Want-To-Avoid

Couples Money Conversations You Want to Avoid

42 Comments

Couples-Money-Conversations-You-Want-To-AvoidTime to kick up my heels and get a bit crazy.  Things have been a little too serious ’round here lately and I’m ready for an all out silly laugh out loud (or at me) poke fun tirade like I promised in my first post How did I get here?

To start off the fun, I refer you to this little gem I came across when I first starting blogging from Joe Saul-Sehy at Stacking Benjamins (go check out the picture, it made me LOL):

Struggling With Money? Steps to Help You Avoid Divorce

Well y’all know we have averted this D-word (so far – touch wood, touch my head, turn around three times fast, don’t step on a crack – hey OCD runs in my family, I’m allowed to do this!) but that doesn’t mean we didn’t and still do come across many delicate money moments.

You may have your own situations you can recall.  Give yourself 2 points for every item you can relate to on this list!

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Couples Money Conversations You Want to Avoid

  1. You spent how much at Future Shop and for what?!  :?
  2. The car repairs from your accident are going to cost $650.  No more pedicures for the next 7 years.  :-(
  3. Honey, you know I love your homemade bean soup, but can we just have some meat after 3 days?  :cool:
  4. You know how the bumper on the truck is starting to rust?  Well I found a good deal on a replacement at a car parts dealer for $150….. Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, I dented the bumper the other day in a parking lot.  :oops:
  5. I need $20 cash for my annual membership dues.  “I gave you $20 last month.”  Oh yeah….   :neutral:
  6. I got a great deal on salad dressings, they were on sale for $1/each so they’ll last all summer.  “Did you look at the expiry date?”  Ya, they’re good until Dec 6.  “Um, no, that is Jun 12″.  :cry:
  7. Did you get your hair cut?  “No, I just brushed it differently”.  You should get your hair cut.  :wink:
  8. I’m so happy that Dairy Queen Customer Appreciation Days falls right around S’s birthday.  I got her a 50% off birthday cake.  “Um, she’s the kid who doesn’t like ice cream cakes”.  :cry:
  9. Oh, look at the price of gas here, we should fill up.  “Oh, no, they’ll be cheap ones once we get out of the city”.  I told you we should have filled up.  :mad:
  10. Did you deposit your cheque?  “Ooops ….”  :eek:
  11. I have a surprise when I pick you up from the airport.  Look for a white truck.  :evil:

Now I’m not saying that any of the above conversations happened in Debt Debs’ household and I’m not saying they didn’t, but since I pretty much tell it like it is on this blog, you know there’s at least an element of truth in every one.   :snarky eye roll:    Except for #11, that is 120% true.  He bought a truck when I was out of town on business without my knowledge or even discussion.  I see your mouth gaping open  But we’ve moved on from that and keep on rollin’.  :D

Next Topic – Time for Your Input

Ahem, in other news, I’ve got a lot of things on my Financial To Do List and having trouble finding time prioritizing for what I should work on first.  I’m gonna let you vote on what you think my priorities should be.  And then I’m gonna do whatever I feel like.  Ha ha ha.  Not not really, I will heed your advices very carefully, and then I will do whatever I feel like think best.

I’m probably forgetting things so feel free to add your own.  Also, some things are meant to build on another thing, so for example, I kinda have to do 1 before 2 and 2 before 3, for example.  Others are completely unrelated.  So here’s the list:

  1. Create a spreadsheet of all my investments in my retirement portfolio and start tracking the stock prices, EPS and dividend payments daily.
  2. Add to the list potential other buys and track and understand their metrics to determine if and when I should acquire.
  3. Open a self-directed stock account and move all of the equities in my retirement portfolio there, making all future decisions myself.
  4. Figure out how to get my grocery budget down from $800 / month (for three people).
  5. Move my blog to a self-hosted site.
  6. Take steps to monetize blog.
  7. Cut the freakin’ cable and save $83.56/month minus the cost of a good quality digital antenna.
  8. Fill out an application at Shopper’s Drug Mart for a job starting in September.

I felt like a fish flopping around on the boat deck, as wrote the above list.   You can tell I’m floundering a bit, ay?  I’m gonna put the above in a poll format too, because I like techy things.  You can either vote in the poll, put your answers in the comments or do both.  No pressure.  Do whatever you want.  Or not.  But if you want me to beg …. pleeeeeaaaazzzze tell me what you think I should do.

I very much appreciate your inputs!!

Call me Flounder.  (But call me.)

Random useless bonus question:  What would you prefer to be called pretty or cute?

flounder-fish

Real Flounder Fish – Pretty

Flounder-character

Fake Flounder – Cute

Images courtesy of flickr.com
Couple Arguing / Erin Nekervis
Flounder Fish / Steve Jurvetson
Flounder Stuffed Animal /The Conmunity – Pop Culture Geek – Doug Kline

 

   

Author: debster

I am a fifty-something wife, mother and new grandmother, who admits to having their “head in the sand” about their financial situation until amassing $247,500 worth of consumer debt for a total debt of $393,500. We've paid $121K in 2 years with four more years to go. Join my journey at debtdebs.com sharing ideas and motivation to all those coping with poor money management and bad debt decisions.

42 thoughts on “Couples Money Conversations You Want to Avoid

  1. Haha this would be so terrible! -> “Oh, look at the price of gas here, we should fill up. “Oh, no, they’ll be cheap ones once we get out of the city”. I told you we should have filled up.” Not a couples-related story, but one time my sister’s friend ran out of gas on the way to school (this was back in high school). We literally were in the middle lane of a major freeway. It was ridiculous!

    • Oh that must have been scary! I’ve never run out of gas but have come close. These days it’s pretty difficult to do so with the meters in cars that tell you how many km/miles of gas you have left. I use Gas Buddy to check out the prices in the vicinity where I am to get the best price. Fortunately one, close to our home is often the lowest.

  2. I would much rather be called pretty than cute; however, the older I get, I think the more I appreciate cute as it implies youth. :-) And I voted for grocery budget and cable. With those two things combined, you can instantly save more money than you will make investing and off the blog.

  3. Ha. I try and avoid having budget conversations with my wife on a random street corner! :)

  4. I agree with Shannon. Cutting expenses is something you can work on immediately, and you don’t have to wait to see the impact. I don’t know what I would do if my boyfriend purchased a car out of the blue! Yikes. The worst he does is ignore coupons. I give them to him, I write coupon next to the item on the list, and he still forgets.

  5. Hmmmm I would rather be called cute. But I’m a guy so it’s different. If I were a girl, I’d rather be called pretty.

    And cut the cable!! I have a friend who quit cable and now he doesn’t even watch TV when he’s in a hotel room. Nothing much to really miss. :)

    • Hee hee. You don’t like Pretty Boy? I know, I get it already! I’m cutting the cable …. soon. Who has time to watch TV these days, anyways?! Thanks for weighing in!

  6. I vote for: cut grocery budget, cut cable (I’m a hypocrite, I sill have mine too, maybe if you do it I can too), move your blog and monetize your blog. The last 2 will take more work though.

    • Okay, I’m going to have to really work to cut my grocery. We don’t eat out at all, but the Costco meat. Gonna hafta get the Irishman on side.

  7. I voted for cutting the groceries and cable and applying for the job. Like a few people above, I see cutting expenses are an immediate win which motivates us to move on to the next task. I put job next because getting your application in earlier looks better than waiting until the last moment, it also should take less time than the other tasks above. I would say after those to work on the blog (extra money is always helpful) and if you have spare time, work on your portfolio organization. Just my 2 cents ;)

    BTW, my ex-bf bought a car without me knowing about it once but we had completely separate finances so I didn’t really say much. If the hubby did that, big trouble! :P

    • Thanks, Morgaine. Since, we no longer have pennies, I’m rounding your input up to 5 cents! ;-)
      He was in big trouble and has not lived that down! I came extremely close to having him take it back, if that was even possible.

  8. I think you should cut the cable. I did this and saved £60 per month, now that money goes to my debt.

    I’d prefer being called pretty because pretty is just pretty :)

  9. Debs,

    Got your message on twitter!

    Voted for cut cable, open a self-directed brokerage account, and cut the grocery bill.

    All big steps, but you’ll be better off in the end. :)

    Best wishes!

    • Thanks, Jason! I hope I don’t screw it up… but reading and following blogs like yours is inspiring. I think I can I think I can!

  10. Ha! The picture looks like they’re having a great time discussing something. Money is always a hot topic with couples but I think it does need proper communication, since just sliding it under the rug doesn’t help at all

    • I scored when I found that pic on flickr for this post, no? Money is one of the top reasons for divorce, they say. :-( So it would seem making money a priority in your marriage is very very important.

  11. I voted for cutting the grocery bill. With a bit of effort, you can easily cut that by half or more. You don’t have to go all extreme couponer, either. Just planning my meals and shopping with a list (even though it’s a pain in the butt) saves me a lot of money. I think the grocery bill presents the most significant opportunity on your list. Cable bill is another good opportunity. You won’t miss it, I promise!

    Good luck!

    • Thanks, Jen. I’m convinced of the cable. It’s going soon, we just need to get the digital antenna. The groceries I’m a bit more worried about because The Irishman does 80% of the shopping. It’s hard to control him. I haven’t got my head around that yet. I’ve told him before to stay out of the grocery stores and give me a list and I’ll do the shopping but he doesn’t like that. I think the meal planning will be the key, but to be honest, we really only cook 1 meal a week which lasts for 3 meals, usually. The rest of the time it’s scrambled eggs or beans on toast.

  12. My boyfriend and I have very different approaches to money. He’s coming back from Europe next week and staying with me till the end of the month when his subletter moves out- so he’s ordering all the “goodies” he wants for himself to my apartment. So far two new shirts, a new playstation, and a new watch have arrived. oi!

    • Oi! is right! Shirts are okay, but the rest …. eek! But we really can’t judge how people spend their entertainment budget. How is he with managing his money? Is this a concern for you?

      I’m happy that my husband and I are generally on the same page. Sometimes I get frustrated because I am even more frugal now than he used to be, and I find it hard to control him on things like groceries, house supplies. He’s a nurturer, so for him cooking a meal for family is what he needs to do. He usually buys the meat on sale (not always), but somehow our grocery bill seems still too high, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.

  13. “Did you get your hair cut? “No, I just brushed it differently”. You should get your hair cut.” Ha ha, I don’t know whether to laugh or wince at that one. ;) As for my vote, I’ll go against the flow and say go with the self-directed brokerage account. Of course, I’m not biased since I used to work in the brokerage industry. :) As for the pretty/cute debate…our four year old always tells me that I’m beautiful. Not really the compliment I’m looking for but I love his sentiment. :)

    • Ha ha! When you’re husband tells you, you need a haircut, then you know you’ve taken frugal too far, right John?! I’m definitely heading towards self directed. Got some work to do to plan this, including tracking my investments, setting things up, timing of the move. Stay tuned for future posts on that!

      How cute is your son to say you are beautiful! Really sweet. Babes!

  14. I voted for reducing your grocery bill. I did that this year and some of the things I did to cut it by $100/month were, make a list and shop alone, shop mostly the sales, make a meal plan of what you will cook for dinner every night.

    • Thanks for the tips, Raquel! I should set $100 as a goal to reduce by. Since my husband does the majority of the shopping (his choice), I’m not sure how this will work for us. Wracking my head up trying to figure out how I can make this work. We use credit card to get the points, so I don’t want to go to a cash system. I’m thinking of giving him chits, and every time he spends $25, he moves a chit to the spent basket.

  15. These are so great (and funny at the same time)! Nice post!

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  17. Hey Debs, I have to admit, I love this post, but I hate the underlying reason for it. It’s amazing to me that money has the power to break up happy relationships. I’m so happy I have the relationship I have now, we’ve got it good now, but we have seen our share of financial struggles. Instead of arguments, we always just created a plan and dealt with things as they happened….I’m a lucky man!

    • Good for you guys, JRod! It takes two working in the same direction to move the ball. Oh wait… now instead of ba$eball analogies, I’m making football analogies. Oi!

  18. I say cut the cable bill and reduce the grocery expense. That’s what I voted on. :) Money problems and issues lead to divorces. I remember coaching a couple once and the man began to cry when confronted with his spending habits. He was complaining that they are in the situation they were in because of the salons his wife frequents. Although his wife definitely needed to cut those down a thorough analysis showed he overspent her 4:1.

  19. I voted for cutting the cable so I could support you since I don’t have cable either. Now that we moved I have been sorely tempted to get it…but the price keeps me at bay. Ok, how did you initially react about the solo truck purchase???

  20. Get rid of the cable, and be an inspiration for me. That is on my list too. I am going to quit shaving and grow a duck dynasty beard to save money after I retire…

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